こんいちは！

Just changed my blog's song to Walking Proud by Ayumi Hamasaki. The song starts quite non-very-nice in my opinion, but as it goes to the chrous of the song, the rest of it was nice. I don't really understand the song though, but it was sang beautifully=p. Songs are meant to be felt, not understand=p. If a composer is good, feeling towards the song will be equivalent to the meaning of the song! Thats what I think~

Arghh.. Life is so boring!!! Till now, I've really nothing to be focus on. Not on my studies, nor my games and animes. I really wonder how those academic-inclined people in my cohort are able to devote so much of their time to studying when I can't! My mind is always changing, like the wind, one minute I'm determine to do this, and another minute I'm determine to do another thing. I wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing hmm.. I guess it should be bad? Since I can never have a distinct thing of what I want to do in life. My mind is so easily influenced with the surroundings. Once there's a change in surroundings, my mindset changes very quickly and so does part of my previous personaility. Even by watching anime, it can also change my mind's direction in life, at the same time, if I watch another anime, it changes again. Sobz... I really want to have something in life that I am able to look forward for. Actually, I wanted to master my Japanese Language and Culture, but without any friends(actually there is, but he is preparing for his o levels now) who can accompany on this journey, I don't really have the motivation. I occassionally read online Japanese lessons, but don't really understand them. I'm a person whereby someone has to explain explanations to me, otherwise I won't be able to understand it. Sigh... I'm really very aimless in life now-_-. What can I do? What can I look forward for? I don't really know. Anyway by rumour, the world is going to end on year 2012 21st dec o.o"... I read something about it when I'm surfing the web, there's this guy who said that there were 7 reasons for the world end. He also said something like Earth would be brought to a new era, but not the end. Thinking about this, in 4 years time, what am I doing? I'll be out from NS right? And the world at that time? Which means I've to treasure every second now? Hmm, I've thought of it, but it seems that I'm still wasting every second of my life as I've no aim in life. I've also thought that if I'm going to die the next day, what would I want to do the most. My answer is: "nothing". Well I really envy those people who have goals in life. As for people like me, even if there's a great reward for doing something(Eg. get good results, and parents get me something), I don't really care. Maybe this is a phenomenon is called "lazy" or something else which I don't know. Sometimes, I want to tell these to someone who is very very close to me(besides my parents). But I can't find any till now. When ever I attempted to do so(of course not to everyone I knew), the other person will always answer me with a "I'm not interested" kind of response. That is why, I decided to talk to my computer by typing this entry =/. Actually, I realised that I'm not the same person as I am during my secondary school days. During my secondary school days, I can make friends really easily whether it be online or school friends. But now, I've trouble doing them. There was once where I was told by one of my old friend that I was very sociable when he started to knew me. I guess, that was in the past and not now. But why I can do it in the past, but not now? Hmm maybe it's because a change of surrounding again which makes me think so? Well, I don't really know.

Oh ya... Occasionally, I thought of having a Japanese friend/pen pal. But I don't know how. Oh well... I wonder if anyone who reads my blog can tell me how can I make a friend like this? I've only made a very good friend/pen pal whom was from Malaysia. I think I know him for 5 years now, although we rarely talk now adays. Making friends from Malaysia is way easier than making one from Japan! It's like near-to-impossible to make a friend in Japan, and more ever, I'm not Japan-culture-inclined, even if I'm able to make friend who is a Japanese, it don't mean that I'm able to last the friendship as I may do stuff that they are not happy about(To me, Japanese has alot of sensitive practices). I've thought about going to Japanese game servers to make friends, but... I can't read Japanese YET... So this option is out, which leaves me with no other option T_T...

I think I'm going to end this blog entry with a list of anime that I've watched so far.

Gundam Seed
Gundam Seed Destiny
Nanatsuiro Drops
Mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha
Mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha A's
Mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha Strikers
Shakugan no Shana
Shakugan no Shana Second
Elemental Gelade
Night Wizard The Animation
Chrono Crusade
Ragnarok The Animation
Inuyasha
Fate/stay night
Kami-chama Karin
Pita Ten
Kamisama Kazuko
Da Capo
Da Capo S2
Da Capo II
Haruhi Suzumiya
Rental Magica
Kaze no stigma

On-going:

Bleach
Naruto
D. gray man

I wonder if I've missed anything out, because I didn't make a record in the past when I started watching anime. I also did not include in this list the anime movies that I watched, as I can't really remember them. I also watched OVAs before but I can't remember what I've watch. Haha. So from this list, it shows that I'm a failure in watching anime as I've watch so littttttle titles. Well the list is going to be updated in the days to come I guess. Time to sign out from here. じゃまた!